wet bee diary

Tuesday, July 10, 2001
the nice man in the Scoop'n'weigh shop doesn't like honey at all.


"The bee is an ancient symbol signifying someone on The Path towards self-realization. It was used because of the 'buzz' in the ears that occurs as one develops Mind to tune in to (vibrate at) higher and higher frequencies."

(sounds like new age nonsense to me)

someone has some vague bee information:

"I think bees were some sort of Napoleonic symbol with connection to much earlier European ideological/political currents.

"That's it. There's some mention of them (bees plus Napoleon and Merovingians) in the book entitled 'Holy Blood, Holy Grail'. Can't, however, recall anything more specific.

"I've been informed by another source that bee's wax was thought by the Stonehenge builders to have special properties relating to flight."

Crowely examined the Tarot in The Book of Thoth. Of the Empress card he said "She combines the highest spiritual with the lowest material qualities". Crowley identifies the Empress as the "Great Mother", and indeed on her robe are bees, the traditional symbol of Cybele. Crowley is not alone in the belief that different cultures give different names to the same deities. The worship of Cybele goes back to at least 3,000 B.C. She entered Greek culture as Artemis and to the Romans was Diana, the huntress. Crowley also identified the Empress with the Hindu goddess Shakti, and the Egyptian goddesses Isis and Hathor. Crowley directly identified Isis with Diana. More usually, Crowley called the Empress by the name Babalon.

Monday, July 09, 2001
Tonight my friend described the recorded output of the band Foetus thus: "Like the Beach Boys produced by a gang of angry metal bees". The thing is, he already knew about my bee obsession... this makes me incredibly paranoid - now I cannot trust anything anyone says in case they are tailoring it to fit with my bee obsession. Damn.

My friend's parents sell honey. You can get it from 4 Quarry Hollow, Headington, Oxford.

Wow! Look at this:

you can go to their website and download their jingle (it's very quick to download) which I feel may actually be the greatest piece of music in the history of the western world... all together now: "yum yum bumblebee, bumblebee tuna - I love bumblebee, bumblebee tuna!"

Whilst I was at the SONAR festival in Barcelona someone sold me an ecstasy capsule that had black and yellow stripes. A mere couple of minutes later I sat down to read the Jockey Slut magazine (one of the few good music magazines around in my not-so-humble opinion), to see them using "bumblebees" as rhyming slang for "E's". I like coincidences. I think the context was that they were talking about Missy 'Misdemeanour' Elliot and her advocacy of ecstasy use, and they said something like "imagine her coming at you when you're on the bumblebees - shudder", which I thought a little needlessly cruel. But then I'm sure Missy can handle herself perfectly well without my sympathy.

The troll Anthony Worral-Thompson has "120,000 of the little fellers" in his orchard, and was on TV making a kind of Moroccan stew using their honey the other day.

A few weeks back I was on my way to a bee-related art exhibition at the South London Gallery, but I missed my stop and ended up in Camberwell. When I got out of the bus, directly across the road was a shop with a big sign on the front which said "Bee's Auto Bits - You won't get stung here". Then when I got to the gallery the exhibition wasn't on anyway, but I had seen something to do with bees, so wasn't too pissed off.

My favourite chatting place on the Internet has two banner adverts for different companies that each feature bees. One is for some kind of financial services but is not on there right now - it comes and goes - and the other is for "Musicbee", who have this ace picture on their site:

I am just a bit scared that someone has worked out that I might be a target market and put these bees where I spend a lot of time to sell me stuff.

Bees are havin' it!! Apparently the only people to benefit from the UK's foot'n'mouth crisis are beekeepers. The destruction of grazing animals and lack of trampling ramblers combined with the sunny weather has led to a resurgence of a huge variety of wild flowers, which allow the bees to make tastier and healthier honey - and more of it.

I stroked a bumblebee today! It was on a bush outside the doctor's surgery. It didn't seem to mind, and even started kicking one of its legs like a dog does when you scratch its back. Then I saw 2 bumblebee on some Jasmine on my way home. One was black and yellow, and the other one had a red arse.

I find this bee immensely appealing.

Oh yes, a bumblebee bashed against my living room window this morning. And I saw a documentary about Africanised Killer Bees yesterday but had drunk a lot of tequila, so couldn't take any of it in.

Sunday, July 08, 2001
There was a thing in New Scientist about a new method of data distribution... I can't find the issue now, but roughly speaking it took inspiration from the way that bees communicate with each other to make sure that all the flowers in the neighbourhood get efficiently visited, and it can for example send a vaccination programme for a new computer virus to computers right around the world faster and more effectively than the virus itself can spread. Bees are cool.

I have been give some great bee-related things. My brother has sent me for my birthday a real bee in a little bottle of formaldehyde (which he kindly warned me not to drink) - so it is almost but not quite a wet bee. I haven't named it yet. Oh, actually, I'll call it Sam, after my brother, because again that is a gender-ambivalent name. My landlord has given me a big box of vials of royal jelly, and I have started drinking them every morning. They taste quite almondy, and have "fructus schizandrae, radix codonopsis pilosulae and fructus lycii" in them as well as the jelly. These are apparently "Precious Chinese Herbs". My girlfriend bought me a furry bee that vibrates vigourously when you pull a string in its back; it has a cute face. Actually it's more flock than fur. And I have a bee poster. It was to advertise Age Concern (one of the few charities I've ever contributed to, coincidentally - I put on a club night called "ooh me bones" where the band and DJs dressed as OAPs and I shaved the middle of my head and wore terrible spectacles) - and features a close up of several honeybees on their comb.

I've found out where all the bumblebees are - they're all on one dog rose bush in the carpark of East Dulwich Sainsburys (and on the bush with tiny flowers next to it, but I'm not sure what that is. Thousands of bumblebees, seemingly in three different sizes.

The Golden Bumble, on the other hand, is a commercial sex toy shaped like a bumblebee that uses a pump and suction cup along with vibration to supposedly "simulate oral sex and massage your clit and labia." Perhaps it was the perturbing image of having a jelly bumblebee attached to my bits, but I had a hard time getting good suction and I found the vibration far too subtle through the jelly.

The stars freeze mid-twinkle over the eerily quiet streets, walked by people who firmly believe the night ended long ago. It's an unkind hour to be an accordion-playing transsexual in a bumblebee costume, trying to liven things up.

more info here

a kiddies gifts shop with not a very good logo.

I haven't updated this for ages... but be patient, I have a huge throbbing crate of bee-fact all ready to unload in your face. In the meantime you can tease a bee here