wet bee diary
Saturday, April 28, 2001
The Anarchist Bees attacked and killed the Dancing bees - an extract:
ANARCHIST DANCE ERRATICALLY AROUND CHAOS ALGORITHM
ANARCHIST SPRAY WORKER BEES WITH BLACK FLAG
BEES FALL DOWN - EXCEPT QUEEN
ANARCHIST REARRANGE SUPER CODE
REMOVE THREE TETRAHEDRONS - PLACE TWO AN HANGER TO RIGHT
PLACE ONE ON FLOOR BETWEEN THE OTHER TWO SETS
ANARCHIST MILL AROUND CHAOS ALGORITHM
QUEEN CALMS THE ANARCHIST WITH KEY TETRAHEDRON
QUEEN REVIVES DEAD WORKERS WITH FLASH PAPER
WORKERS FEED HONEY TO ANARCHIST
CHAOS ALGORITHM TURNS OFF FLASH AND RETURNS ANARCHIST KEY CODE TO THE PEDESTAL
CHAOS ALGORITHM EXITS
QUEEN ACTIVATES WORKERS TO RECONSTRUCT THE SUPER CODE (by moving Key code near them)
(Dr Jack shoots remote flash?)
WORKERS REPLACE MOVED PARTS OF THE SUPER CODE
QUEEN AND WORKERS RETURN TO OPENING SCENE
DR JACK TURNS OFF FLOOD LIGHTS
DR JACK SHOOTS REMOTE FLASH (LAST TIME)
DR JACK TURNS OFF SOUND
DR JACK TURNS HIS LIGHTS BACK ON
DR JACK SAYS
" We neither created nor destroyed the super code. It always was and always will be. Our job is to search for it, find it, and use.
However, right now I am sure you are hungry and I have made some wasp Kabobs for you.
I will pass them out."
HOUSE LIGHTS COME ON
In ancient Greece, the dead were often embalmed in honey in large burial vases, crouched in the fetal position for their next birth. In the Yoruba religion, Oshun is the deity or orishá of rivers, lakes, and sensuality; she heals the sick with her magic honey.
I have still seen no bees since this diary started. I am not disheartened, though - it is sunny here, and surely that will coax some bees from their hiding places before too long.
Wednesday, April 25, 2001
a stupid-arsed link to a stupid-arsed site of, like, explosions and shit:
=========\\ /> /> //========
\\======---- / >lade / \unners Productions ----======//
How to have PHUNN with
Bottle Rockets and Bees, Hornets, and large stinging insects.
(With little danger to your personal self)
How to kill bees and wasps.
Joe Shmoe the Eskimo / Two PHUNN
and Tour De France \ guys!
Spelling errors by:
Tour De France"
Right, the bee thing's kicking off now:
To: email@example.com Save Address
Subject: Fwd: failure delivery
Date: Wed, 25 Apr 2001 20:57:29 +0100 (BST)
Reply Reply All Forward Delete Previous Next Close
got you addy wrong first time - don't use this account
to write back. Its shit.
Note: forwarded message attached.
Do You Yahoo!?
Get your free @yahoo.co.uk address at http://mail.yahoo.co.uk
or your free @yahoo.ie address at http://mail.yahoo.ie
Subject: failure delivery
Date: 25 Apr 2001 19:52:02 -0000
Message from yahoo.com.
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Giving up on 220.127.116.11.
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the bee thing is ace - i see money. i see a coffee
My mum had a friend who was always trying to kill
herself. One time she set herself on fire. it didn't
work. But being a bit brown rice + sandals, she put
honey on all her open sorey burns. the lodger then usd
the same knife/honey for her toast.
The woman finally managed the suicide thing - so many
attempts - you'd hav thought she'd get it together sooner.
Should I be alarmed by this? Should I get a buzz out of it? Or have I been stung?
Someone I spoke to in the South of France said she'd seen loads of bees today, but on closer examination it turned out only to have been a couple of bumblebees and a load of garish hoverflies.
Someone else's response to the last response:
I was once riding my farty little 125cc bike up the A6 in the middle of
summer with my visor open when one of the little black and yellow stripy
fuckers flew into my helmet. Much panic ensued, and i nearly crashed.
I flattered a Melissa with this:
At the temple of Aphrodite at Eryx, priestesses were called "melissae", which means "bees," and Aphrodite herself was called Melissa, the queen bee.
She responded thus:
Nearly forgot to tell you that I saw a bumble bee yesterday, he was a
I was walking down the road and he came flying towards me (why do they
always fly in your bleedin' face? are they blind?)
I wasn't scared at 1st because I know the little fellas don't sting.
But then he flew over my head once and then back again
BZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz right in my ear which scared me and made me Shriek
and flaps my arms around my head (much to the amusement of the kids out
playing on their scooters).
People are sending me this stuff faster than I can put it on!
What *Plan 10* actually reveals is a deep, insidious plot to rule the world involving UFO abductions, Masonic ritual, and bees. (Very important, those bees.) Never mind that it plays its subject matter purely for laughs... Plan 10 contains lots of details. For instance, the bees. Plan 10's single, side-splitting production number is the Dance of the Bees, performed to the tune of the actual Mormon hymn, "If You Could Hie to Kolob" (the planet Kolob, that is). The dance is made up of various Masonic postures, including the sign of the entered apprentice, the heave-over, the sign of the past-Master. More interesting is that the Dance of the Bees invokes the aliens (who come in a UFO right out of Ezekiel 1:4-23) - now we're into ritual magic territory. There is a stream of occult belief that regards the Masonic-based rituals of groups like the Ordo Templi Orientis (Aleister Crowley) as methods of contacting the Secret Masters who are, *gasp!*, aliens. George Andrews writes in *Extraterrestrial Friends of Foes* that Jack Parsons, rocket scientist and magickal son of Aleister himself, let the evil Grey aliens onto this plane by performing the BABALON ritual. Those Greys are now working with the Mormons, Masons and the New World Order...
it would be a MORMON hymn, with the honeybee being the emblem of Utah and all... for more on BABALON and on, see your form tutor after school
as Daphnis says to Gannymede: O would to God... My lips were honey, and thy mouth a bee... Then shouldst thou suck my sweete and my faire flower, That now is ripe, and full of honey berries. well, you'd have to wouldn't you?
Ra, the God of Sun, looking down at the Earth, saw that the people had forgotten all about God and were behaving in an undignified manner. Seeing this, tears started running down his cheeks. But the God's kindness to people became manifest in the fact that his tears turned into bees, who brought honey to people.
the god of bees, bubilas, was a fat man with a sweet tooth. "He symbolized the spirit of the drone, the fertilizer of bees. Honey was sacrificed to Bubilas by breaking a jug with it, and this rite was accompanied by loud cries."
loud cries presumably of "oh fuck, there's honey all over me carpet, that'll never come out."
Nostradamus predicted that Napoleon's reign would last 14 years and referred to his army as a swarm of bees. Napoleon was in power exactly 14 years and five months and his army's symbol was the bee.
A LITHUANIAN FOLK SONG A poplar stood alongside a road Sounding kankles from below the roots, Buzzing bees in the middle Falcons, children at the top, And a group of brothers comes riding on horseback, Please stop, young brothers, Listen to the sounding kankles, Listen to the buzzing bees, Look at the falcons, children.
The Truth about human evolution
It is now widely accepted that Homo Sapiens are not members of the great ape / primate family, but an independent branch decended from bees (Busybee Honeyi, to be precise)...
..."It wasn't a conspiracy, but a simple mistake. In his handwritten draft of Descent of Man, Darwin wrote that we are descended from "Apis" (i.e., honey bees). His editor, not being an entomologist, didn't know that word. He assumed it should be "Apes" and made the change throughout the manuscript. Lazy graduate students have been copying the error for generations and enshrining it in the papers they later publish themselves."
more at this place
the 1944 film "bees in paradise" is "about four airmen who land on an island of women where the prevailing male custom is to commit suicide."
Got this off a pagan board:
About bees...this is from a post to an e list I used to belong to. It's by a woman named Jane who practiced Finnish shamanism... "Bees are capable of transcending the worlds of men and gods and going to the source of them all, the realm of Ukko the Unknowable." (Ukko is the "most frequently evoked deity in _The Kalevala_" [that's the Finnish national epic...Creation stories, stories of gods and heroes, etc.]) "This (bees ability) is in part due to the hum of bees. It is a sound that enables them to walk between the different worlds of consciousness..." Other things Jane said were: "...heard of gnostic systems where bees are considered to be representative of one of the highest levels of communion with higher forces..." and, "Bees are also a symbol of the Vatican, as they are supposed to be messengers of God." Also, "According to my Apache uncle, bees of all sorts are highly significant...and considered to be highly lucky." So, I gather the hum represents messages or songs. Or, it's akin to shamanic drumming where the sound takes one to another level of awareness, the "different worlds of consciousness..." Jane mentions. Good luck with your bees! *hugs* Mo
The Drones are stout male bees that have no stingers. Drones do not collect food or pollen from flowers. Their sole purpose is to mate with the queen. If the colony is short on food, drones are often kicked out of the hive.
Worker bees' stingers are evolved from egg tubes, aparrently.
Lithuanians identify with bees!
"Even today, the verb for dying of non-humans is different from that for Humans and Bees, Lithuanians having a pre-Christian belief that bees have human attributes."
and they make sure they wake up with the snakes:
"The symbolic awakening of the snakes was on January 25th, The Day of Serpents in Lithuania, Kirmeline, when the serpents come out of the forests and return to the houses. On that day, the people would shake the apple trees in the orchard so that they would more fruitful and knock on beehives, waking the bees from the winter slumber."
There is a whole chapter in the Quran/Koran called "Bees", but this is the only bit about bees in it (it is a good bit, mind):
The Bees' Instinct
* Your Lord has inspired the Bees: "Set up hives in the mountains, and in trees and on anything they may build. * Then eat some of every kind of fruit and slip humbly along your Lord's byways."
From their bellies comes a drink with different colors which contains healing for mankind. In that is a sign for folk who will meditate!
From "The Magick Of Mother Goose":
A swarm of bees in May
Is worth a load of hay;
A swarm of bees in June
Is worth a silver spoon;
A swarm of bees in July
Is not worth a fly.
Tuesday, April 24, 2001
My brother is today's undefeated champion bee hero:
"i saw a bumble bee today. on some cherry blossom. i also saw one on sunday, flying away from a walnut veneer 1950s' drinks cabinet."
It keeps coming!! Nice one bro!
"and bees are haplodiploid, this is probably the reason why they're so interesting, a bizare genetic system in which the queen has twice as many chromosomes as everyone else. workers grow from unfertilized eggs, this causes relatedness asymetries, the workers are more closely related to the queen that the queen is to the workers. this is essentialy why the workers work for the queen and not vice versa. Although if you look in more detail, it seems that the genetic advatange that the worker gets form raising their neices as oposed to their daughters is greater than the queen gets from raising her own daughters, thus the queen is working more for the genetic advantage of the workers than herself, She is the sex bitch slave of the perverted masses."
My brother's really come good here - stuff about bee's arses falling off but still working... here comes the science bit - concentrate:
"The selflessness of the workers in evolutionary terms is often commented on, as they give up their own opportunity to reproduce in favour of helping to raise the offspring of their sister (or half sister) the queen. This self sacrifice is taken to the extreme when it comes to the defense of the hive. Most people know that a bee is committing suicide when it stings, this is no accident of evolution, the stinging apparatus is highly adapted to operate outside the confines of the bees abdomen. As the bee deposits the sting and dies, the sting remains very much alive. In fact the sting has its' own independent nervous system which coordinates the contraction of a muscle system, pumping venom into the victim and driving the sting deeper at the same time!"
J Exp Biol 1995;198(Pt 1):39-47
Ogawa H, Kawakami Z, Yamaguchi T.
By Tim Radford Science editor. Bees use their reasoning powers to get to the nectar, according to an international team of scientists. In tests, the bees learned which signs led the way to something sweet and which did not, the researchers report in Nature today. This discovery will have set the world of animal behaviour abuzz. Vertebrates - and especially primates - were thought to be the only creatures that could hold in their heads the concepts of `the same' and `different'. Now the team from France, Germany and Australia say their research shows `that higher cognitive functions are not a privilege of vertebrates.' Bees are the cooperative go-getters of the insect world. The workers wake up, set off, search, find a source of honey, return, tell their colleagues where the best supplies are, then find their way back. Researchers have watched, noted and experimented for years to discover how bees navigate and communicate. Martin Giurfa of the Free University in Berlin, and colleagues from Narbonne and Canberra, noted from earlier studies that bees can `interpolate visual information, exhibit associative recall, categorise visual information and learn contextual information' - do what in a human would be evidence of thinking. So they set the bees a test. They trained the honeybees Apis mellifera to recognise particular colours and grating patterns, using a Y-shaped maze. In one trial, the bees saw either blue or yellow as they approached the entrance to the maze. When they got to the Y junction, they saw that one turning was labelled blue, the other yellow. They quickly learned that the sucrose reward was to be found down the turning that had the same colour code as at the entrance. In further experiments they found that the bees could perform the same mental gymnastics with similar and different grating patterns. And when colours were swapped for odours - lemon and mango - they saw the same outcome. The bees could tell sameness from oddity in the abstract. They could think. GUARDIAN 19/04/2001 P9
This reaction to the diary from the same person who wrote the bee/smoke poem below:
"That is a true labour of love. The Waggledance is INDEED an interesting phenomenon. There's a waggledance beer isn't there? They've just done a corporate redesign of the packaging. Aren't bee related products GREAT? Honey, royal jelly, Honey beer, those Greek cakes, bee-sting arials, bee-stripe jumpers, the B-52's. "
I shall have to find some pictures of these products.
From my learned brother:
some interesting bits of mellifology, beehavioural ecology, hymenology or whatever;
The analogy of the social insect colony to an organism or super organism (Ed O Wilson)tends to keep expanding in usefulness. The amazing ability of a bee hive to regulate its temperature to within a few degrees is a feat only seen elsewhere in a few higher vertebrates (birds and mammals). This similarity to more complex organisms' thermoregulatory mechanisms has been found to extend to the defense against disease. Where the mammal increases body temperature to kill bugs, a fever, the worker bees increase the internal temperature of the hive when infection is detected, this response is seen to occur early in the infection so would involve sophisticated communication.
(Naturwissenschaften 2000 May;87(5):229-31, Starks PT, Blackie CA, Seeley TD.)
Honeybees, we can probably assume, are not among the world's greatest
thinkers. But they are capable of a surprising degree of higher cognitive function, including the ability to cope with the concept of 'sameness' previously thought likely to be the preserve of primates. Having learnt to associate a set of black and white patterns with reward or absence of reward, honeybees can transfer that learning to a new set of patterns, or even to another sense, a set of odours.
(MARTIN GIURFA, SHAOWU ZHANG, ARNIM JENETT, RANDOLF MENZEL & MANDYAM V. SRINIVASAN
Nature 410, 930-933 (19 April 2001))
and what about the waggle dance? more to follow maybe.
Monday, April 23, 2001
Someone sent me this today:
"i told my friend about your bee blog. He saw a bee on
saturday. It was a bit sleepy and crawling along the
pavement about to be stomped.
"In Italian mosquito is Zanzare - which I think is
excellent and sounds like the noise they make."
And what's more, she called me "Lord Of The Bees". I'm obviously flattered, but I think that's a bit much, really.
The sleepy bee reminded me: it's still a bit cold for bees. But soon there will be loads of them.
"bi" in Norwegian
"Biene" in German
"abelha" in Portugese
"bie" or "bij" in Dutch
"pszczola" in Polish
"mat-fung" in Cantonese. It looks like the "fung" bit means something stingy, as the other "fung" words in the dictionary were for things like "wasp", "scorpion" and "cobra"
Someone today claimed her name "Melissa-Jane" means "honeybee", but didn't think the "Jane" bit means "bee". I can see where she's coming from... the "Mel" syllable certainly has something to do with honey... I wonder if that has relevance for Melanies as well? Or Melvins?
Hooray, I just got the first direct response to this diary:
"aaahhhhh. how sweet. and how poignant that you 'havent seen an actual bee all weekend'. not even on the bee bee cee?
"i used to stroke honey bees as a small child. jake at the metway's band is called honey bee. is something good called the bees knees because it sounds like business? or are bees knees particularly good? bee in french is un abeille. i dont know the german or spanish...but id guess the german word is similar. what's the etymology of the word bee?"
Sunday, April 22, 2001
There is some dubious poetry extant in this world... this following bit is is published - IN A BOOK:
"Shall we gather at the river" by Connie Deanovich
A gathering is an adequate symbol of itself
a gathering of everyone you've ever known
now frozen in individual serving size times
in the brain like bees trapped in different versions of the Coke bottle
If you saw the rest of the poems, you would know for sure that there is no regret or satire here - this person really does see their life and relationships in terms of plastic-wrapped portions, fizzy drinks and so forth. Is this what we are reduced to? It's not just the mindless led-by-the-nose consumerist imagery, it's shit poetry. Try saying out loud... doesn't roll of the tongue does it? Not like
"Isn't it funny how a bee makes honey
Buzz buzz buzz, I wonder why he does?"
now that is mellifluous.
This was posted by someone in response to me posting other peoples' bee poems on a chat board:
"Bee, what you are, what you are is a bee keeper, or are you the grim bee reaper? with your smoky gun, you have such fun, set your bee gun to stun, and let them have one, big blast of your puff, bee smoke gun's enough, to smoke out a bee, wheras i puff whole trees. That's one nil to me."
Excellent - I've found someone who gets overexcited by bee-sex:
"You may wonder how on earth I became involved in the beerotica industry. Well, this past spring I took a wonderful course at the University of Maryland called BSCI 120: Insects. This was one of my favorite courses of all time because we got to watch really cool nature videos every Thursday. In addition to videos about assassin bugs and bot flies, two other fascinating insects, we saw one that changed my life. That's right, I'm talking about the beautiful aerial ballet that is the mating ritual of the common honeybee."
more at this beeporn site
On a web chat-board thing, me and another person pretend we are both doctors. Today they were complaining that their old Trabbant motorcar was rubbish, so I made them the following offer as a replacement mode of transport:
"Perhaps a cloud of a thousand bees, each with a gossamer thread attatched to the upper part of your body? You could control their brains with my new SynchroBeeBox so you would not need to worry about unruliness. As you are a colleague, I can attatch the face of your favourite pop or Hollywood heart-throb to each and every bee free of charge."
from Mrs Dandurand's bee site:
The flight speed of a bee is an average of 9 MPH loaded, 8 MPH empty, with 15 MPH maximum.
90% of the food and fiber consumed or used by humans depends on the pollination by honeybees.
Makes you think, eh?
... of the Catholic World. The Holy Bee is certain that the reasons she offers for
non-bombardment are valid and of great moment. Spontaneouely, therefore, she ...
Sent this picture to someone today.
In fact, I mentioned bees to that same person twice in the last two days, and now they have mentioned bees in their weblog (unbearable.blogspot.com). I don't know yet if they mentioned bees unconsciously because of my subtle use of suggestion, or whether they consciously remembered my liking for bees, or whether they were just thinking of bees anyway.
Haven't seen an actual bee all weekend.